I know, right?!? That time when I was 19 and that girl gave me five orgasms in the span of a couple hours I was so confused! I mean.. it felt real. All the signs were there, head rush, body tingles, loss of breath, warmth - so much warmth, exhaustion, elation..just, everything I had come to know an orgasm to be! When I finally came around after feeling like I blacked out, panic struck! I looked around, under the blankets, the pillows, the bed.. and to my confusion -no penis!
My friend asked me what I was looking for, “The Real Thing!!” I screamed! I was sure it had to be somewhere, surely I couldn’t have just experienced such pleasure with The Fake Thing(s).
I tore my room apart, searched every nook and cranny with no luck. But there was one place I hadn’t checked. I looked to my friend, she lay there on the bed, confused and pretty irritated if I’m being honest. Could it be?? Was she hiding it? I had to find out.
I embarked on my search with gusto. Thoroughly exploring any possible place The Real Thing could have gone. Much to my surprise, the harder I looked, the deeper I went the more she seemed to be enjoying herself! In fact, I dare say she had an orgasm or two herself.
Much later when I’d been pushed away and told “No more.” I collapsed on my bed in confusion. She hadn’t been hiding the thing. I stared at my hand and contemplated what had just happened. Could it be?? Could these fingers be The Real Thing? It didn’t make sense - they didn’t look like a penis! I couldn’t be sure, so I promised myself from that day forward I would devote myself to figuring out this great mystery.
It’s been some time since that fateful night, and I’ve yet to find the answers. I have however, found plenty of orgasms. I will continue to “settle” for the good of humanity and report back with any new findings.
My cat is terrified of everything but me. So this is how I feed her so she eats properly
Harry Potter and Holy Fuck I’m A Wizard
Harry Potter and Shit I Can Talk To Snakes
Harry Potter and When the Fuck Did I get a Godfather?
Harry Potter and There are Other Wizarding Schools?
Harry Potter and Oh My God I Can See What Voldemort’s Doing
Harry Potter and Snape Was Friends With My Mum?!
Harry Potter and Well Fuck Snape was a Good Guy All Along and Now I Have to Die Whyyyy
This is the best explanation I’ve ever read.
A Iraqi girl in an orphanage - missing her mother so she drew her and fell asleep inside her. This is America’s democracyThis picture always gets me.
I am genuinely amazed by these nerds getting all pissy & weird about Sylveon being predominantly male while having a “girly” design, and their whole reasoning is “this is meant to be a kids game!!”
wow I didn’t realise you were my fuckin’ right-wing grandmother and can’t accept any deviation from norms in front of children, cripes why don’t you tell me how disgusting you think it is that boys can wear dresses in New Leaf
"Fed up with the false ideals around post-baby beauty, photographer and mother from Chicago, Ashlee Wells Jackson, launched a project designed to thrust the "real" post baby body into the spotlight.
The 4th Trimester Body Project is dedicated to embracing the beauty inherent in the changes brought to our bodies by motherhood, childbirth and breastfeeding..”